Monday, August 24, 2015


My Dear Son:

Cliques among family members are probably the most regrettable of all. Yet these kinds of cliques are fairly common. Usually certain family members will choose to favor or ostracize over relatively small issues. When this happens, it is like cutting off your own thumb.

Let's first discuss what you can do if you find yourself as the outsider looking in, the one outside the clique. I think the most important tip to remember is, at one time or the other, everyone will find him or herself on the outside of some group, no matter what invaluable personal assets this person may have. 

Neither you nor I will fit into every single group. So, as the outsider looking in, it's important that you realize how very fragile and short-lived a clique can really be; that your status with the clique usually has little to do with how capable, intelligent, or valuable you are. It has much more to do with the mentality of the group at the moment, or, the person in the group who calls the shots. 

If you find yourself standing outside a clique, probably the most important question to ask is: Do I really want to be part of this group, and why? If you cannot find at least three good answers to each part of the question, there's a good chance you're better off remaining on the outside. As I've said before, in the ideal world, there would be no “outside” or “inside.”

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